Married To A Japanese Woman?

Your questions answered...

I am going to Japan. How much money should I bring?

Actually lots of it! Japan is among one of the costliest countries and Tokyo/Osaka consistently rank as among the costliest cities. All the way from a cab ride to a cup of coffee can be way too expensive (unless of course you are used to buying your coffee at Starbucks!). Exactly how much to bring would depend on the number of days you will be there, whether you would stay in a hotel or have a place to stay, how often you would need to eat out, how often would you travel, etc.

If you are going to travel in Japan, contact the local Japan travel office to see if you can buy discount passes for travel on the trains. As a tourist in Japan, consider eating in fast-food restaurants since the prices are fairly comparable to other countries. Avoid cabs and use public transport as much as possible – Japan has one of the best public transport systems in the world.

Do your research before you leave. Find out ahead of time the fees you might have to pay to visit museums or historical sites. Japanese businesses do not typically accept credit cards and even less so the ones not issued inside Japan. It is a fairly safe country so bringing cash is OK. You can change into Japanese currency at the airport or you can bring traveler’s checks, which can be exchanged into Japanese currency at most banks.

My wife wants Japanese green onions and cucumbers, where can I buy these? Can I grow them in the US if I bring seeds back?

Depending on what part of the US you live in, you might be able to find some Japanese grocery items in a local Japanese store. A trip to China Town is also helpful. We do not recommend growing Japanese vegetables in your garden unless you can reproduce the Japanese environment and are willing to put extra hours in your garden.

My wife will no eat sushi made by a non-Japanese. Is she the only one?

Sushi-chefs in Japan are considered to be artists. They go to school for years and then they practice for years under a master. They are highly respected professionals. That is why sushi meals in Japan are very expensive.

In recent years, however, sushi has become popular outside Japan and many untrained chefs have taken to preparing sushi. For the casual sushi customer, the difference is not apparent. However, for a Japanese, the difference is obvious. Thus, many of them will simply not eat sushi not made by a properly trained chef.

My wife is having trouble buying size 0 clothes. Where can she shop?

This problem has been somewhat addressed with the emergence of online stores in Japan that will ship to most countries. Since your wife probably reads Japanese, ask her to buy online. For those who prefer to buy in the mall, it is best to shop in the section for teenagers. While it might be embarrassing, but that is the only section where they can find clothes that actually fit them.

Where can I find a bathroom scale or thermometers or other devices that display metric numbers?

In the US, this is a big problem. However, if you can order online at websites located in Canada, you should be able to find almost anything in metric system. Normally, shipping costs are minimal.

Where can I get original Japanese TV programs, movies, books, magazines, etc.?

With satellite television easily available and either cheaper or comparable to cable TV, it is best to switch to satellite TV to receive Japanese channels directly. Recording TV programs and selling them is generally illegal unless done by the TV channel itself. You may be violating the law if you buy such programs from an individual or a small company.

What type of visa should I get in order to get married to a Japanese?

It is best to consult an immigration lawyer for this purpose since each case is different.

How much money do I need to make to sponsor my fiancée?

This provision exists in the law to make sure that a US citizen is able to support his wife. The requirements are actually very simple. If your income is somewhat more than the federal poverty guidelines for your area, you are probably OK. So unless you live in poverty, there is no need to worry. If you do, it is best to discuss the issue with an attorney. You will be expected to document your income and produce tax returns.

What should I expect at her/our interview with BCIS?

To avoid fraudulent marriages, BCIS meets with the candidate for green card and the couple. The goal is to make sure that you are a genuine couple. If you are a genuine couple, there is no reason to worry at all and no preparation is actually needed for the interview since the officers are only trying to find out if there are any inconsistencies in the information provided and if you are truly committed to get married.

How can I teach my wife to drive?

Driving in the US can be intimidating for a lot of Japanese women not only because we supposedly drive on the wrong side of the road (at least that is what the Japanese think about us) but also because of the aggressive and impolite drivers. Speed limits in Japanese highways are slightly less than that in the US and strictly enforced.

While you might take on the responsibility of making her comfortable with the new driving arrangement by driving around in an open area or your neighborhood, it is best to also send her to attend a refresher course offered by AAA or a local agency. As you would with a young driver, it is best to accompany her on initial trips to crowded areas, highways, etc. Teach her how to deal with aggressive drivers and police (the Japanese policemen are unusually polite and not intimidating as some of our cops are).

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Men Who Are Afraid To Make A Commitment

We often help our patrons with their lifestyle problems and, of course, two most popular categories for asking questions are relationships and health/fitness. We recently helped Cathy, a client of ours from Maine, and are publishing her case since we find that it will be of interest to a broader audience. She wrote, "I am dating a wonderful man who has two teenage children. My children are young adults. He has been separated/divorced for about 2 years. I have been divorced 7 years and my children have met my date. We have been dating 9 months. How long should we wait before introducing the relationship to his children? His divorce was final 2 months ago. He has dated others - non seriously. He is an avoider by nature. Is his time up?"

You write that he has dated others and that is definitely a red flag. When men say that they are not serious about other dates, they are essentially lying. If you are dating someone for nine months, there is no justification for him dating other women at the same time. I do not approve of non-serious dating unless of course both partners agree that they are dating casually since it is hurting you and also hurting all these other women that he is dating. God knows what he is telling the other women. I would not be surprised if he is telling them exactly what he is telling you.

To me it appears that he is basically still evaluating his options and you are just one of them since he does not feel that you have passed his test to be introduced to his kids. What I find interesting is that you tell us that he is an avoider by nature.

Looks like he is not ready for a relationship with you yet. If you are convinced that he is the man for you and you would rather wait and show your commitment to him all this time, it is fine to do so while he evaluates his other options. Remember, though, that he might still leave you for someone else. You need to prepare yourself for this - after all life is all about bets and you could either win or lose this one.

You can also thoroughly evaluate your relationship now and take a hard and honest look at him. Is he a long-term type of a guy ? Will his tendency to avoid responsibility and taking action become an issue at some point? Maybe it is time for you too to diversify your risks by non-seriously dating other men.

Remember you have been dating him for 9 months now and so it is no longer right for him to beat around the bush. I am not sure if you guys have been physically intimate already. If so, he needs to give you a convincing answer that this relationship has a future so that you can decide accordingly.

What can women do when men do not want to commit?

1. Treat it as a warning sign. One very simple reason a man may not want to commit is that either he is not ready for a relationship or does not think you are the right person. So watch carefully and be prepared to walk away at short notice.

2. Confront him politely. Men do not find this topic to be an easy one (psychologists call it 'commitment phobia' or 'fear of commitment' and a man and commitment are not always friends) and will either avoid it, give a confusing answer, put you on hold, or simply end the relationship. None of these is a response that you want. So you need to approach this with tact. Tell him that you have been dating for a while and what can you do to make sure that you both can chart a course for the future. If he avoids the topic, then tell him that it is important for you to make some plans and you would like to set some milestones for the relationship. If he still does not want to demonstrate to you that he shares this vision, it is better to diversify your risk by considering other men.

3. Set some ground rules for your relationship if he is not yet ready to commit. For instance, rules for dating others, evaluating the relationship after one or three or six months and then deciding the next set of steps, etc.

4. If none of this works, you can switch the relationship to a friendship as both of you evaluate your options. No need to have an ugly breakup if the only issue for your relationship is long-term commitment. In today's America, where it is so hard to find someone who is 'made for you', it is best to give even someone who is remotely 'made for you' another chance.

5. And of course the final option is to simply dump a commitment phobic man so that you can move on when he doesn't want to.

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Meet A Woman In A Bar

How to turn the encounter into a real relationship?

Jonathan went to a bar just to have a few drinks but there were surprises for him. He actually met an interesting woman that he had a great conversation with. "Two days later I get a message from Tracy and she was giving me her number (how often does that happen that a woman actually gives her number to you?).

I wasn't really sure how she got it, most likely through the bartender, who knows me well. We went on a date to this club and I did not think things were going that great. But still, the next thing I know we are in the car kissing, talking, etc. We were also talking about getting kinda serious. So now it's been almost a week and we kind of came to an agreement that we need to try to slow things down.

We barely knew each other. So we meet up and talked for about 7 hours. She said that she has to get herself straightened out before she can get into anything serious. I agreed completely and let her know that I will help and support her 100%. She now considers me her best friend. So it went from whoa to slow, but I want the whoa back. We are going out of town together in a couple of days, and I am not sure what to expect, so I'm getting kinda nervous. I think she's the best. And I really want to be with her. What should I do?.

Over the years, I have learned that bars aren't exactly the best places to meet good women these days (try online dating) - you know the ones you want to marry or have a serious relationship with. I am generally skeptical of women who kiss guys in parking lots, give out their number, and then decide to take a trip with a guy they hardly know. Party girls like that (think polyamorous Lindsay Lohan), more often than not, fall in and out of love pretty quickly.

Having said that, life is full of surprises and people find love in all sorts of unexpected places. My hypothesis is that Tracy went to the bar to "party" - nothing serious, just plain fun. And contrary to her expectation, she found someone who was not only fun but also someone she could imagine having a steady relationship with.

So, you have to ask yourself, what do you really want? In case, you just want to have a casual relationship, she could be your dream girl. In case, you are looking for a serious relationship and feel that she may be the woman, then go for it.

A lot of people will tell you to to slow down or avoid doing certain things or get to know the woman before you get into bed with her - and stuff like that. However, my personal advice to you when you are with her is to just go with the flow. And since you will spend a lot of time with her, inevitably you will get to know her better. Also make sure that you guys talk - so ask questions and get to know her as a person.

And listen to me: during this trip do not commit to anything. Do not promise everlasting love or whatever even if that is how you feel. If you reach a point that she is looking for an answer, tell her that you need to think things over since everything has happened so fast any way. I am positive that she will understand because she too has asked for time in fixing her life. It will be a very important decision for the two of you and the best thing to do is to look at the relationship from all angles and then take the next step.

After a week or so of thinking it through and if your heart tells you that she is the ONE, go for it. While I will continue to say that most good relationships are found through a deliberate, slow, and well thought-out process of dating and mating, you never know how and when you will find your partner.

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More Asian Bikinis Click Here!

Other Related Links:

1. Looking For Japanese Girlfriend? Click Here!
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7. Blonde Date Pads
8. Earn Dollars By Referring Us

When Trying To Pick Up Women, Always Work Alone

Maybe there's something to be said for going out with your buddies to work the bars and pick up women, but notice how rarely it ever actually seems to succeed? Girls go to the clubs in groups for safety and to make it difficult for all but the most aggressive males to pluck them away from their circle of friends and make a powerful first impression. But it puzzles me as to why GUYS feel they need to run in packs the same way.

Do you draw confidence from your male comrades in a club situation? Does the competitive spirit make you better? Or are you even MORE afraid to take a chance with a critical audience of snickering baboons watching your every move (AND screw up)? You probably don't know what the hell you're doing when it comes to approaching women TO BEGIN WITH... will somehow demonstrating this humiliating deficiency of your male skills in front of your goofball buddies make it any better?

Understand this: most of your genuine chances to pick up women won't ever happen when you're out with the boys in a bar -- there are far too many distractions and way too much competition for her attention. This is a situation where no one but the most VISUALLY OBVIOUS DOMINANT MALE among the crowd has any advantage. Most women in this 'party mode' are only there to drink and dance and act nutty anyway.

Only the most top dog male in the joint has any prospect of breaking through this goofy ‘fun trance' and getting a rise from his suggestive behavior. You? You're just the sort of invisible shmuck she completely ignores; nothing but background clutter. The same way that you ignore all the fat chicks in the crowd and focus in on only the hottest looking babes. Right?

Your 'modus operandi' has to be completely different. In order to keep a safety zone around your fragile ego, a complex NON-verbal interplay must occur before you can ever speak any words to her with confidence. This takes time and requires a situation where the two of you can focus at least some *attention* on one another without having the trance broken by other people around you (preferably strangers, and not engaged in doing anything particularly important i.e., like library readers for instance).

The very same girl that would immediately brush you off in a bar can be wide open to your advances in AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SITUATION -- one where you can monopolize her attention. That's why you must always keep your antennae out and be looking for opportunities in the most unlikely of situations!

In any case, the absolute WORSE situation for trying to meet women happens at some wild event where her guard is up like a silver cross to ward off all the drunken losers suddenly "full" of liquid courage (low status males). You'll do *much better* when you learn how to establish a bit of playful, unspoken communication in places where her guard is DOWN and you have a chance to disarm her with your male presence and charm. It's really not all that difficult once you understand that what she needs to see from you is just one little sign of Dominant Male behavior.

The good news... you can easily learn how to *fake* the most key HSM (High Status Male) attitudes until they become second nature! Seductions are a lot like *sporting contests* in that you never know what unforeseen twists and turns may happen on your way to victory. You can't allow yourself to be handcuffed by the need to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure you're not doing anything that will make you the butt of jokes and mockery from your "crowd" for weeks to come. A lot of times, you'll have to scrap the game plan and make changes to your technique on the fly -- and these adjustments don't always fit the image of what your leering buddies probably think is cool.

Look, don't play the loser's game of going out to work the clubs with your "gang." Not when you're serious about hunting for women, anyway. Bad experiences will only sap your confidence and make it more difficult than ever to effectively play the "real" game... the one where you try to win the desire of a beautiful woman. You know... the ONLY game that actually matters.

Alternative Links

Want to know more about Japanese AV Idols? Click Here!
More Asian Bikinis Click Here!

Other Related Links:

1. Looking For Japanese Girlfriend? Click Here!
2. Looking For A Quick Date Tonight?
3. Hot Latina Babes
4. UK Date Line
5. Earn Money In No Time
6. Lovely Hot Asian Single Babes Looking
7. Blonde Date Pads
8. Earn Dollars By Referring Us

Send Fresh Flowers To A Woman

Women love flowers and you can use a bouquet as a great excuse to start a relationship
Did you know that Marcia Cross met Tom Mahoney in a Los Angeles flower shop?

Think you’ve got to be great looking to get a woman’s attention? Wrong! If you know what to say and do, you can have any woman dying to be at your side. This is a little devious, but what’s the harm? Try this: Go up to a woman and ask her, “How’s work, Susan?” She’ll tell you she’s not Susan. “Oh, you’re not Susan Moore who works at the Citizens’ Bank?” She’ll say something like, “No, I’m Karen Miller that works at Landover Real Estate.” Then just say, “Oh, well I’m Doug Jones (offer to shake hands), and I’m sorry for the mistake.” Smile and walk away.

In two or three days, send flowers to her at her work place. Include a card saying, “We just met for a moment, but I can’t stop thinking about you. Meet me for a drink after work? Doug.” Include your phone number, too, just in case she wants to call and thank you before you get in touch with her. And believe me, she’ll want to thank you.

And you’ll score major brownie points because she’ll be thrilled to get flowers at work – all the other women in the office will be buzzing around wondering who sent them, and the object of your desire will be excited by the surprise and by the attention from her co-workers. Give her a call later that day after you know the flowers have arrived, and say, “Hi, this is Doug. Remember me, I’m the one at the dry cleaners (or wherever you met her) who mistook you for Susan from the bank? Did you get the flowers?”

She’ll say yes, tell you they’re beautiful and unexpected. Say, “I know this is a little crazy, out of the blue and all, but you just seemed so nice, and I was kicking myself that I didn’t ask you out before. I know we don’t really know each other, but I’d like to change that. How about going for that drink later?”

She may not remember you well, after all, she only met you for a minute, but man oh man is she ever going to be flattered! Someone is telling her she’s so hot that after a few seconds in her presence, he can’t stop thinking about her and is sending flowers?! Women eat that stuff up, they think flowers are so thoughtful and romantic! How could she turn down a drink with someone so thoughtful, someone who made her feel gorgeous? She can’t! Besides, she’d feel ungrateful if she didn’t at least give you a shot. This is a piece of cake pick-up technique, and it makes you seem like Prince Charming! Like taking candy from a baby, fellas, trust me.

Alternative Links

1. Want to know more about Japanese AV Idols? Click Here!
2. More Asian Bikinis Click Here!

Other Related Links:

1. Looking For Japanese Girlfriend? Click Here!
2. Looking For A Quick Date Tonight?
3. Hot Latina Babes
4. UK Date Line
5. Earn Money In No Time
6. Lovely Hot Asian Single Babes Looking
7. Blonde Date Pads
8. Earn Dollars By Referring Us